The Author’s I.D.- Who Is J.W.?

My name is J.W. and I am a 36-year-old divorcee. Hopefully that will get easier to say. My passion is writing and I have authored several books, songs, and poems that are awaiting publication. I also love ministry. I have one daughter that is in college. She is the love of my life and keeps me going, encouraged,and  focused. (WHEN SHE IS NOT LOOKING FOR A HANDOUT! LOL..I AIN’T NO ATM!) Okay well now that I have vented that I want to tell you more about me and why this blog.

I was married almost 12 years. We were together for a total of almost 14 years. He got all my twenties. My divorce happened so fast that I did not have time to feel the devastation fully. I will talk more about that, but it was what God allowed and a part of His plan at that time. How do you plan for a celebration and a divorce? I had to. I didn’t want to. What was I suppose to do, die? I wanted to hide. I was embarrassed, but I knew that I had to save face so that the destruction could be delayed regarding my daughter. August of 2012 she was starting college. She was our then last child in the home. So you see, I was celebrating the start of her new life and suffering the lost of her presence at the same time. I was desperately going to miss her. All the while my then husband was telling me that he did not want to fight for our marriage and did not know why. So it happened, June 2012 I was planning for my 12 year anniversary, July 2012 I found out “for sure” that he was cheating, and December 2012 my divorce was final. Yes it happened that quickly. How did I get through it? God, one step at a time, writing, and I am doing it right now.

Why this blog? This blog is about my journey through divorce. I am sure that you have one and I want to hear about it. This blog is about sharing my experience so that it can help someone, save someone, and/or restore someone. I am the instrument, it will be God’s wisdom. I do not have the monopoly on good advice. I am just one resource. I have God’s word, the Holy Spirit, of course Jesus Christ paves the way, my mom, my daughter, my Pastors, and friends.

I am here to share so that you can learn. Allow my vulnerability to be your comfort. It is really okay to talk about it. I have to. So I choose to talk to you.

  1. I’m a relationship coach and therapist. It sounds like you went through quite a rough journey. Nevertheless, it sounds like your faith and your writing has really helped! I felt moved to read your story and your process through healing.

  2. I saw this coming so glad t o be a witness of your brand new life

  3. I have been nicknamed “the counselor” since I was in high school, but your story is sooooooo what I know all too well. No, it’s not mine, but I know someone who’s story is JUST THIS, but they are still in the “keeping up appearances” space. I however am a child of divorced high school sweethearts.

    • How do you feel being a child of divorce?

      • I don’t see me or my siblings as being “children of divorce”, my parents are just divorced individuals. I know it sounds like the same thing, but I don’t feel that way. Here’s my parents background in a nutshell: met each other at 12 , chased each other from junior high until high school , got together had my sister as sophomores, dad wasn’t too amped at being a teenage parent, did his thing all while my sister was young, mom went back and became pregnant with me about 3 months before prom ( I did the math lol) and dad again was a “selective parent” choosing when being a father was convenient for him for 3 years, mom still went back to him with 2 young girls, and had my brother at 21. Still chose not to be a viable factor in his children’s lives. During our upbringing, my parents were pretty violent when it came to arguments. I joke and tell people “when I was a child I grew up with Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, but when I got older it became Ali and Joe Frasier!”. My parents broke up and got back together, but luckily my grandfather was the one who stepped in and became the father figure for us. When my dad came around in 95/96 he proposed and they got married. It didn’t change anything. It took my siblings and I to tell my parents that they weren’t good together. We told them not to stay for us because we’re good. We know who our parents are, but we see something just wasn’t right with them two……or at least I did. (my exact words were ‘paw paw has been more of a father to me than you ever have’). I know what it’s like to be there “for the sake of the kids” because that was done for us and it was indeed terrible! Now, approaching 30 (lord help me) my parents are still fooling with each other (over 30 years). Truthfully, I don’t care at this point and I haven’t for years. This is a lesson they have to learn not only about themselves, but about each other. My dad has since had another child with someone much younger but is still in love with my mother and will say so until he’s blue in the face. My mother is very strong willed and stubborn and controlling and wants things her way, so if he’s not doing what she wants him to do she’ll just roll out. Now my dad is still soft on my mom, but I commend him on growing a spine and that’s where my parents butt heads at. So for me, the divorce was indeed needed because they weren’t together because they were happy. Unfaithful, Lying, Abuse, it was all there.I personally don’t think people should be married before 25, just my opinion, but i’m not knocking it. Just be real and open and honest. If you step out, MAN/WOMAN UP to say so!

      • Thank you for your honest. I learned a lot!

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